Many people are familiar with the feeling of stress lingering in the body long after a stressful situation has ended. As a clinical psychologist, I often speak with clients who feel confused by this experience. They tell me that now that the situation has passed, they expected their mind and body to relax. And yet, their mind remains active, their body still tense and alert.

Some common examples are still feeling restless many hours after finishing the work day, feeling overwhelmed by anxiety in the first few days of a much needed holiday, or feeling exhausted but unable to sleep. Sound familiar?

This happens when our mind continues to believe we are in danger, so our mind and body remain on alter, ready to deal with the threat. In other words, the stress response (the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response) remains activated.

If you have not yet read the previous blog, Completing the stress cycle, you may find it helpful to start there before reading on. In it, I describe a concept outlined by Emily and Amelia Nagoski in the book, Burnout: The secret to solving the stress cycle of completing the stress cycle. This is when you engage in thoughts and behaviours designed to signal to the mind and body that it is safe, that the threat has passed. This allows the body to move out of the stress response and into rest and recovery.

In this blog post, I will outline a series of strategies you might use to complete the stress cycle. These are evidence-based ways of reducing arousal and creating calm. Importantly, there is no one right way to complete the cycle. Instead, different strategies will work differently depending on each individual person and situation. I hope that providing a number of options will help you find the strategies that are accessible to, and work most effectively for, you.

Movement

Physical movement is one of the most researched ways to support stress recovery. A recent meta-analysis showed that physical activity is consistently linked with lowered stress levels. What matters is choosing a form of movement that is accessible, enjoyable, and helps you release physical and emotional tension. For people prone to overthinking, movement can also help direct your attention to the present moment by focussing on the physical sensations of your body.

Helpful options might include:

• Walking
• Stretching
• Dancing
• Yoga
• Swimming
• Strength training

Controlled breathing

When we are stressed, breathing often becomes shallow or rapid without us noticing. You might sigh or yawn, both ways your body tries to regulate your breathing when it is too shallow or fast. Controlled breathing is a technique where we attempt to slow down, even out, and lengthen, out our inhale and exhale. Breathing exercises typically involve:

• Breathing in through the nose
• Exhaling out through the mouth
• Making each breath slow, even, smooth and quiet
• Gradually lengthening the exhale
• Repeating this several times

Controlled breathing and its variations have been widely researched and shown to be an effective way of reducing arousal. A recent review found breathing exercises (including controlled breathing) are effective for stress and anxiety reduction, particularly when they are practiced for longer than 5 minutes in duration, include slow, deliberate exhalation, are practiced over multiple sessions, and include human instruction.

Grounding exercises

Grounding is a technique that helps bring your attention to the present moment. In simple terms, it helps the mind recognise that you are here, now, rather than still in the stressful situation. Grounding exercises provide instructions to help you tune into the present moment, to feel connected to your mind and body and/or the space around you. There is growing evidence that directing attention towards a sensory experience or anchor point can reduce symptoms of physiological arousal immediately.

Common grounding exercises include:

• Noticing your feet on the floor
• Naming five things you can see, hear, touch, smell, or taste
• Noticing the contact points between your body and the chair/floor
• Standing and swaying your weight from foot to foor, noticing the sensations in your feet
• Describing objects around you in simple detail

Safe connection

Humans are wired for connection and co-regulation. This means our nervous systems are influenced by the people around us. A recent review of the research explains that effective regulation of our emotions relies on active interaction between people’s biology and behaviour. This is why being close to someone who is calm and settled can help us shift out of stress to a calmer state.

Connection might include:

• Talking with someone you trust
• Seeking touch through holding hands or a hug
• Spending quiet time with another person
• Making eye contact with someone who feels emotionally safe
• Sharing a laugh

Importantly, connection does not need to involve discussing the stressful situation itself. It may simply involve experiences of safety, warmth, or companionship.

Expressing emotions

Many adults learn to suppress emotional expression in order to cope, remain productive, or avoid burdening others in times of stress. While this may be a helpful short-term strategy, over time it can lead to a build up of physical and emotional tension, and create disconnection from your needs. In fact, a recent meta-analysis demonstrated exactly this, with emotional suppression linked with increased acute physiological responses to stressful situations.

If you are used to shutting down your emotions or struggling to feel anything more than numb, it may help to express your underlying emotions. Try to choose safe ways of expressing your emotions. This might be doing something on your own, such as journalling, or listening to or watching a moving piece of music or video. Or you might feel comfortable expressing your emotions with someone trustworthy.

For some, expressing emotions in a way that encourages a concurrent physical release (such as crying or laughing) can also be effective. A recent meta-analysis showed that laughter interventions can significantly reduce depression and anxiety symptoms and increase sleep quality.

Rest

You’ve heard it many times and for good reason – rest and relaxation play meaningful roles in recovery from stress.

One of the more misunderstood aspects of stress recovery is that rest itself can feel uncomfortable. Some people notice they become more anxious, restless, guilty, or down when they allow themselves to slow down or stop. This makes sense when we consider the in the context of nervous system learning. If your body has spent years adapting to pressure, responsibility, conflict, or unpredictability, slowing down may initially feel unfamiliar rather than calming. For these people, rest might not be a switch the body can flip instantly. Instead, it may be something the nervous system learns gradually over time.

Rest can look like:

• Light exercise, such as gentle yoga
• Sitting down to rest
• Engaging in a relaxation exercise such as Progressive Muscle Relaxation
• Enjoying a few minutes of massage

Small moments of safety matter

In the long term, it can help to build small moments of safety into your day. These repeated signals of safety can support your nervous system’s ability to settle over time. For many people, regular practices, rather than single big efforts, are often most useful.

This might look like:

• Taking a brief walk between meetings
• Stretching before bed
• Listening to music while driving home
• Sitting outside for five minutes
• Spending time with a pet
• Letting yourself rest between tasks

A final thought

Completing the stress cycle is not about feeling calm all the time or never being stressed again. It is about recognising that the body needs recovery as much as the mind needs solutions. Research supports the idea that stress recovery is supported by movement, breathing, sleep, connection, and other regulating experiences.

Different strategies work for different people, and what feels regulating can change over time. Often the most helpful approach is one grounded in curiosity rather than pressure or perfectionism.

If you notice yourself feeling constantly activated, unable to switch off, or emotionally exhausted, it may be time to seek support. You can try the strategies above, or speak with a clinical psychologist if you would like to explore what is keeping your system on alert.

Image credit: Photo by Haley Phelps

Author: Dr Sarah Davenport, Director and Principal Clinical Psychologist, Headstrong Psychology

Written with the assistance of AI.