Relationship therapy helps people in relationships build more trusting, supportive, and fulfilling connections with each other. To do this, relationship therapy focuses on helping people to resolve conflict, improve communication, and build stronger and deeper connections. Despite its growing popularity, many people have misconceptions about relationship therapy. Here are five common myths therapy we hear.

Myth 1: Relationship therapy is only for people who are married

Relationship therapy is for people who want to improve their relationship, regardless of how they define their relationship. Your relationship therapist should work from a place of respecting the diversity of all relationship structures and sexual preferences. They should prioritise providing you with a supportive and non-judgmental space.

Myth 2: Relationship therapy is only for people in long-term relationships 

Relationship therapy can be beneficial for people at any stage of their relationship, from those who are just starting out to those who have been together for many years. 

The challenges you face at the start of a relationship might be different from those that occur later on. For example when you are dating someone new, you might have different ways of viewing relationships and commitment. Or, you might have different ways of communicating or dealing with conflict. When you have been together for some time, you might be juggling a range of responsibilities, stuck in a cycle of miscommunication, and feeling increasingly disconnected.  

Moreover, your relationship might be facing pressures related to your current stage of life or recent life events. For example, your relationship might be suffering because you or your partner(s) are working long hours to establish their career, have new family responsibilities, or are struggling with physical or mental health issues. 

Your therapy should focus on what is important to you and your partner(s) at this stage of your relationship and the context of your broader life experiences and circumstances. 

Myth 3: Relationship therapy is only for people whose relationship is in crisis

It is true that relationship therapy can be helpful if you are facing challenges that threaten the future of your relationship. For many people, this is the point where addressing their relationship issues becomes urgent and motivates them to go to relationship therapy. The focus of therapy is often then a matter of figuring out whether you want the relationship to continue. 

However, relationship therapy’s ultimate aim is to help people build satisfying and meaningful connections. This means it can be beneficial to all people in relationships. 

What makes a connection satisfying and meaningful will be different for every person and their partner(s). The purpose of relationship therapy is to help you figure this out and find ways to work towards this with your partner(s). This means the focus of therapy can be many and varied, from expressing your needs, communicating respectfully, resolving conflict, and strengthening your connection. 

Myth 4: Relationship therapy only focuses on the negative

Relationship therapy, like all forms of therapy, often involves uncomfortable feelings and difficult conversations. This is part of the process of addressing and resolving issues. However, the hope is that by doing so, you and your partner(s) can gain clarity and move forward with new perspectives and skills.  

Myth 5: It is the job of a relationship therapist to take sides

Your relationship therapist is not there to judge, blame or take sides. Their role is to understand each partner’s perspective and needs, the helpful and unhelpful dynamics in the relationship, and your goals for moving forward. Change can only be achieved by you and your partner(s) taking responsibility for your relationship and working together. 

To ensure your relationship therapist has a thorough and unbiased understanding of each partner, it is recommended you see someone who is new to you and your partner(s) and has not been the individual therapist to one of you previously.

We hope that addressing these in detail helps you to take advantage of the benefits of relationship therapy if and when you need it. 

Further Resources

Relationships Australia offers a wide range of services, programs, information and resources on building respectful relationships. 

The Gottman Method is a scientifically validated approach to relationship therapy. The Gottman Institute website provides information their approach to dating and relationships.

Esther Perel, psychotherapist, author and podcast host, is a firm favourite of many health practitioners, including our team. Her website, TedTalks, books, and podcast provide a plethora of insights on relationships, particularly romantic relationships.